


As It Is

by mozbee



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-11
Updated: 2013-04-11
Packaged: 2017-12-08 03:43:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/756654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mozbee/pseuds/mozbee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Loki comes to terms with his place on Midgard, and meets those terms with refusal and an agenda of his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As It Is

For all of its sprawling continents and reaching mountains, depthless seas and uninhabited corners, with its endless ring of sky blending into the cool blue of an eternal horizon, Midgard, Loki has come to discover, is small. 

Small in the sense that he can be standing in the coldest slopes of the Arctic mountains, or siphoning poisonous ink from the colossal squid found thousands of feet in the deep ocean (which he has found is great for keeping his hair slicked back and well maintained), or taking a much deserved vacation from nefarious plots designed to bring about the undoing of this world along an isolated stretch of beach in a fascinatingly coloured country by the name of Brazil, and still, with countless miles between them, he feels him.

Thor. That stupid, brazen, coarse fake brother of his. Traipsing around the earth with an even more pathetic band in tow than his warrior friends of Asgard (that glossy, conceited, fake home of his), righting wrongs and delivering justice to the pleased bleating of the mortals. Loki watches the programs on television that show off Thor in battle, the mighty god of thunder looking formidable as he always does, swinging Mjolnir to cleave the heads of his enemies in two, roaring his triumph, and then sticking around to help with the mess.

Loki reads various papers that build Thor up, that talk of his selfless nature and burning loyalty and indomitable fighting spirit, how everything he does is for the people. He nevers asks for recognition (most likely because it's such a big word) and the quotes immortalized by eager reporters paint him in such a sickening light Loki wonders how he ever put up with Thor for so long.

Mr Fucking Personality, Loki sneers with derision. The people finding him so...unique, so strange and new and good. Really, substitute 'good' with 'bad' and alter the peoples' sense of morals, and Loki is seen in very much the same way.

But that's because the mortals are fools, blind, vulnerable fools who will one day quake at the coming of his footsteps, at the swirl of his cape, when he has laid waste to all semblance of order and civility the world over. 

When Midgard is his for the taking.

When the Avengers are vanquished.

When Thor is left to rot at his feet and think every single day of where he went wrong, how the defeat of the earth is his fault, his friends dead because of him.

When Loki gets thinking like this, he can't help but laugh. Out of pure joy and excitement at his future, he howls to himself, eager and impatient, shaking the adrenaline through his system, shooting flares of green flame to mix with the Northern Lights (his preferred phenomena on Midgard), stomping through small towns nestled in quiet hills in the guise of a fifty foot bear in his restlessness for the present to end and the future to start.

_I will be your master!_ he roars at the terrified townspeople as they flee from the vicious giant bear. _You will succumb to me of your own will!_ Not that they can understand him; instead they're treated to ferocious roars that knock them off their feet and overturn automobiles. What is the sound of a five storey white bear laughing? The people of Wilhelm can speak with authority on this. The ones left alive, anyways. And even then they would most likely rather tell of the sound a five storey white bear makes when it sobs in rage.

This is an inherent flaw of Loki's. Under normal circumstances he remains controlled, only showing emotions to misdirect observers and foe. He cannot so easily steel the heart of a giant beast, for as he himself is small but powerful, the form of the bear is large and powerful, driven by raw instinct, boiling red with anger when confronted, leaping into the fray of a city based on split second decisions. Loki is not as controlled in the towering body as he is in his own lithe form, and as such is ruled by emotions.

It is this that causes the Wilhelmians to cautiously pause in their scattering, as the bear's roars turn from fierce and offensive to mournful cries that still thunder through the streets, lacking the power from when it was on the attack. And just as suddenly as the bear appeared, it is gone, running south of the village until it can no longer be seen through the dense swirling mist that permeates the mountain town at all times. 

"Why is it sad, mommy?" asks six year old Luk of his mother. He had never seen a bear before but had heard the wailing cries and had his curiousity peaked. His mother could not answer, as she had died when a car was violently swatted through the air and sandwiched her against the Wilhelm Community Center. Luk holds her hand, carefully avoiding the embedded glass in her palm, and cries much like the bear had. 

 

Loki throws himself away from the town, abject self hatred souring his rampage completely and choking him with tears. It always happens. He gets carried away, lets himself feel and move as a fearsome creature, tying himself to the illusion, until a realization crashes through his crush kill destroy mantra.

It always comes back to Thor. Everything Loki does, from the uneasy camaraderie with like-minded people working together to overthrow the world (though Loki knows he can do it himself), to the bold plots he unveils as a direct challenge to the idiot hero brigade, taunting them, daring them to stop him, what it all comes down to is Loki wants Thor to notice him.

If that doesn't just piss him off to the ends of the realms. 

He hates it, hates himself for being weak, needy, for getting jealous when he sees Thor journey with Idiot Man and Bulk, trading friendly jibes with Captain Shitface on the news programs, working with Hawkturd in war-torn countries, and Loki hates that it can't be him. He hates that he cannot be a person for Thor to enjoy, and he hates that he even wants that. 

When all this self recrimination starts, it builds in him, in his towering white furred bear body, anger and shame and anger at the shame and melancholic memories try to flood his mind, and he never has such powerful feelings until he's in a form that is too big not to fill itself with all of them, and he feels his control slipping and then he is no longer a rampaging beast set to create havoc and stir terror in the minds of the puny mortals, he is just Loki running from the shameful aspects of himself. 

The force of the bear's raging emotions escape unbidden, and then he is naught but a pathetic whimpering animal, thundering from the wreckage he caused because he will not be seen as weak, and soon he has retreated deeper into the treacherous paths of the outlying mountain range, given off the guise of the bear, and standing as himself, furious at his lack of control, angrily clawing the remnants of tears from his face, gaining a semblance of himself back as his temper cools.

It will not do, to repeatedly become unhinged, when in his moments of glee he is taken over by that which he does not wish to consider. If he remains as he is now, weak and uncertain, he will amount to nothing on Midgard. His continuing flaw is how he thinks of Thor. It should be nothing but burning anger, with a desire to see Thor's existence stamped out permanently. Loki knows he needs to grasp that which will make him stronger. He will commit himself to erasing their early days together, let the past die and move on with no looking back, so that when the time comes he may strike Thor down with no doubt or second guessing. He has to want Thor dead and gone. Or all of who he is, how he has grown, will mean nothing if he cannot escape from the far reaching influence of his treacherous adoptive family.

He notices great streams of water running from him, flowing down the slopes of open patch of mountain upon which he stands. In his pacing and angry insights he has melted a great deal of snow, black flames boiling at his feet, a telltale sign of his mood. It is time for him to leave; he has much to consider and put into action. Before he can teleport himself away, however, he feels a change in the air, and stops himself. He allows a pleased smile to form as the mountains tremble with the rumbling echoing around, and waits for them to show themselves.

Thor and his band of halfwits are coming. The powerful jet they cruise around the world in is coming in for a landing, and already the sun-flame suit of the Iron Man is coming at him, to keep him where he stands. But Loki has no intention of leaving. He has set himself a challenge, and what luck that Thor is coming now to help him overcome it. The sooner the better.

Loki waits, in his circle of melted snow, frozen grass stock still around him, for Thor. It is a test for him, to see if he can steel himself and do what he knows he must do, and that is vanquish the lauded prince.

**Author's Note:**

> This was something I felt ready to get out, no big deal or anything. I could expand it, add more (a shit ton more) but it seemed to end well and I'd like to see how it's received. Thanks for reading, I know you didn't have to. And I love that book. 'No Big Deal'. But it's no big deal.  
> -mb


End file.
